Day 141- Physical Body Consequences

In forgiving the suppression of my feelings I've become more aware today of the feeling of stress within my body and how I respond to it through suppression as crashing after work and trying to just forget the stress, but my body doesn't forget, my mind does.

I stand all day at work, so I can feel the stress being built up in my calves and in my back from hunching over at work.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become emotionally burdened in relationship to the stress building up in my body.

I forgive myself for accepting and al
lowing myself to let my stress get the better of me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to collapse when faced with stress within my body.

I have the strength to carry on, to push forward, I don't have to become so deflated because of work.

Is it really the physical labor itself?

How can I improve my relationship and support of my body while at working while after work?

I can see myself becoming more stressed when I have thoughts and anxieties at work, and I can see myself doing better and feeling more capable when I'm more focused and more directive.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to collapse within myself when faced with physical stress as becoming tired, disorientated, unable to direct myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not rise to the occasion when faced with stress.

Suddenly, right here, I can see, it's not the physical that is giving up, it is the emotional burden, there are many other factors than the physical capabilities of my body.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to force my body to take on my emotionally induced stress and anxiety when I'm not taking self responsibility for my emotional body.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hide my relationship to my stress and emotional anxiety by placing the burden on my physical body as psychical stress and anxiety.

Get out of there emotions, stop bringing me down.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to stress myself out by having to both work with the physical labor required to survive and function in the world, on top of the emotional work, as having to have some way to work out my emotions, and not taking responsibility for them forcing them on the physical.

I'm circumventing my direct responsibility to my emotions, and thus my physical body is paying the price.

I feel like I'm stronger now, and can face my emotions head on, but I'm still afraid to do so.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear facing my emotions head on and directing them within self honesty and self responsibility, as I realize if I take on this emotional responsibility, or do not, I will have to pay one way or another, and what I'm putting my body through, when I don't face my emotions head on, is damaging me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to damage my body when I don't face my emotions directly out of fear.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blame my body for not being strong enough, when I decided I was not strong enough to face my emotions so my body followed suit.

My body has become tired of carrying the burden of what I do not face within self direction and self honesty, because I as my being have become tired of it.

Being tired won't help me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be too tired to face the things within me that are bringing me down.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become tired of lifting myself up.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fight against myself by pushing myself down with emotional baggage.

I've never before in my life found a reason to rise to the occasion, to do what needs to be done, to face my life head on.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to let my body degrade carrying the baggage I refuse to fess up to, because I've been selfish, a character of self outside of cooperation with my body with life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have been selfish for so long in my life in neglecting the physical, that I don't know in self honesty what is required of me in my world, in my body.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel tired and want to give up within myself, because I haven't given myself enough direction in my life, in what I'm doing with my life, and what is required of me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize self responsibility as the direction I need to take myself to not feel tired and give in and continue to let my body fall apart.

In selfishness I look outside of myself, before I have established self honesty and self trust within myself, as such when I feel tired and weak and in pain, I look externally to excuse myself of self responsibility.

I commit myself to become more responsible in directing myself within self honesty so that things don't build up wihtin me in a way that is more consequence orientated causing physical damage.