Day 79- Turtle and the Hair

I want to improve at everything.

But I'm also tired and feel like I'm pushing myself too hard.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that I will not be honorable if I don't push myself as hard and as long as I can.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire to be honored by others.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not hornor myself as my own personal process, but instead push myself too far exspecting to garner respect.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not live respect as self respect, as I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to push myself to hard where I have an idea of what I'd like to accomplish, that is not aligned with where I'm at, within the moment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to push myself too hard, by putting myself into situations of fight or flight, where I know I will not back down, but will regret it.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to push myself so hard.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to push myself so hard that I become too tired to do well at work.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to push myself so hard I am not patient and do communicate with people patiently.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not handle myself with patients.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to utilize stimulants because I find myself not being able to push myself as hard as I'd like without caffine, nicotine, ect.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to push myself so hard I become scatterbrained.

So, I do appreciate the ambition, and I do see the results, and the effort I'm putting into things, but matatically my ego has begun to play too big of a roll in everything.

The idea of me being an achiever, over weighing me actually patiently getting things accomplished in a stable manner.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to try to beat the system.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not appreciate the turtle, taking things slow but sure.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be the hare, burnt out from going so fast, before I can reach the finish line.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize I'm running toward the finish line I have set for myself, and that is in my mind, and does not neccisitate what is best for me, slowly but surely.

Maybe the lines have changed, and that's OK.

I commit myself to stop, breathe, when and as I see myself pushing myself too hard.