Day 81- Going With the Flow

In each breathe I can see my participation, in my mind and in my world.

I must breathe self in each breathe. Honesty, forgiveness, responsability, commitment.

That's hard to do, because in each breathe, I'm each moment in my body, there is resistance.

There is confusion, there is distraction.

My breathe and who I am in each breathe is equal to my process.

Where am I in my process?

I'm stuck on an idea.

A concept.

I forgive myself, so that I can change my participation and action within the system.

So I can live what's best for life, until death.

What if I lived alone in a cave, and I was the only one to benefit from living what's best for myself,

If a tree falls...

If I'm living what's best, than I would share and exspand and learn with others, that would be what's best for all of life.

That would be what's best for me as all of life.

If I have friends, if I have family, if I have anyone, I must live the example, for myself, as to not use relationships as an excuse to hide, but as a reason to push forward.

The oppritunity to live what's best in relationship to one person, is the oppritunity to start the fire in everyone.

Living what's best, means for all equally.

Where have I been failing to start the fire within myself?

When I'm too tired to fan the fire of life, of forgiveness, of chnage, within myself

Too tired, because I gain nothing.

I don't gain, because I don't give, because when I'm tired I just want to survive. Survive the way things were.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear there not being a light at the end of the tunnel, just for me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to be rewarded, instead of simply givining myself the reward, as lving the reward for all, as being a better, a changed person.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to limit myself to self actualization as breathe on my own terms, as when it makes sense in my self intrest to be breathing here, acting what's best, unconditionally as my purpose, as my fire, as my oppritunity.

I forigve myself for accepting and allowing myself to be rigid and unmoving, in only giving my breathe as making myself as my relationships and participation as breathe, when I can make sense of things.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to give up on myself, when things don't make sense.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to give up on myself when it is not clear how I will win in a certain situation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to only see myself as winning or losing, as making sense within self intrest or not.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to trust myself as living intrest, as lving self intrest, as giving to myself as giving to life, as living and breathing as directing myself in relationship to my mind as energy in all ways at all times.

I don't know how to direct myself within breathe, when I'm tired, or am I tired because I'm not directing a certain part of myself within breathe.

Inconsistancy.

I say I'll do this or that, but I'm just hoping things will work out.

I'm just along for the ride.

That's a big thing for me, that's a sensitive nerve, that's part of fate, part of me having found a very good reason not to stand in each breathe.

I don't have to do anything, I'm just along for the ride.

I found out just how far I am willing to take that point, way far out there, to the point of no return.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to take being along for the ride to the point that I could be in danger for not standing up to myself, and deciding for myself who I will be in any particular instance.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go along for the ride in relationship to letting others make my decesions for me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to let fate take for a ride, and I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize when I let fate decide for me, I lose a chance to stand for myself, and give up one more fabric of my being to my mind of disempowement.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize, if I keep playing on fate, fate will eventually play on me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear seeing who I am without fate, as going down the river.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize myself having found the river and having been the one who led myself down it.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to question, where does the river end, and where do I begin?

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to find purpose in finding meaning and finding drive outside of myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not breathe as directing myself in each moment, because I'm waiting to be found.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to let things be what they are because I'm too tired, and within this not realize I'm tired, because I just let things be, laizze faire.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to live in agony, instead of simply confronting ky participation as riding the waves, without a care.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not decide in each breathe who I will be, because I do not care, and would rather let others and other motives decide for me, what is best.

I commit myself to stop, breathe, when and as I see myself riding the waves, as letting my actions and my decesions be made outside of myself, as I realize myself as the own person I can trust to take care of me as life as one and equal in all ways, without seperation as selfishness

The end of consequence.