Day 47- Self Forgiveness as Pandora's Box

This is an experiment that I wanted to try, where the idea is that self forgiveness is best written and speak in a way that is self honest, and can be lived through the different means of practical application, as stopping in breathe of a specefic point, changing of a lifestlye, or changing how I direct/express myself within certain situations.

So if I say, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be sad, and leave it at that, there is no self realizing selves creation through participation, and no room for any commitmet to applying real change within breathe nor action.

So it's more like a mantra at that point, like a chant, or a symbolic gesture not lending itself to real change or self realization, but my idea is to bring about a point from the dark, to bring up a point I hadn't seen or considered, the idea being that in the moment of realsing myself from all sadness within the blanket statement, the mind might then bite back with a vengeance, where I then the next few hours or next day find myself for no particular reason becoming very sad over something, thus giving me a very clear potent expression to write out in actual self honesty. The opening of Pandora's box.

Which is what self forgiveness already has proven itself to be, where my mind has only grown more and more irradic and unpredictable, the more self forgiveness I do and live, as my mind brings itself forward to me, as revenge of the ego, as I notice what was already there in the shadows.

First, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear challenging the mind as asking it to bring forth emotions, feelings, and reactions for me to face.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear facing my mind when that is what I already have been doing through self forgiveness already.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear what new mechanic or device my mind might find to attack me if I were to clearly outright challenge it to do so.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that my mind might have a pocket trick, as something I have never seen it do before, as being prepared for this very moment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that my mind has already mastered me, and can control me if I were to ever outright say that I am trying to take it own.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that my mind should have already tried most of it's tricks and methods against me since I have been doing self forgiveness for years, and in that have already outright called out my mind numerous times, in many different ways.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my mind because I do not know what it might be capable of as what it is hiding, in terms of power of influence over me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that my mind has power of influence over me, as I realize that I give myself to the mind.

So, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that my mind will play a grand trick on me for challenging it, and that I would then give myself up to the ultimate power of the mind.

I commit myself to realize even if I gave up for just a moment, as long as I learn something, as long as I come back to my writing, as long as I breathe, my process is progressing, and I simply must face myself within that moment of having fallen to a grand creation, as the creation of the mind which would like to control life itself, which is a grand endevre.

So, now that I have given myself a weapon to fight what comes out of Pandora's box, as not fearing losing the fight, because what matters is the war, as the war on what I have accepted and allowed as my creation in all ways.

I open Pandora's box.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be tired.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be happy.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be sad.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be depressed.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react to things.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to get excited.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use poor discretion in my words and actions.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be mean to myself or others.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be nice to myself or others.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exsist as an ego personality structure.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to wander off as day dreaming.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hope.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to dislike work sometimes.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to expiernece pain.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not be considerate.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to get upset.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not be here within silence, as nothing moving within me as truly being here in each moment.

Another way I could try this is by saying to my mind, bring me a point of emotion, and then I would write it out in self forgiveness when it emerges, or just taking on any random point in my day or life and writing it out, to discover what else it is consisting of. That way I could maintain my relationship to self forgiveness as being within self honesty, which the examples above were not intended to represent.