Day 63- Thinking

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear not understanding how to navigate my world without thinking.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear if I do not plot out my intentions and who I am and what I am doing as thinking that I will not be able to direct myself effectively.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to doubt that I am capable of directing myself within my world without constant thoughts in my head.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that there is nothing else allowing myself to navigate my world and make decesions and plans without thinking as ploting out what I will do.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to live within a dependency on thinking where I do not allow myself to have better structure and self affirmation by being able to plot out my life and my activites and decesions without thinking.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not have considered other ways of moving myself and making plans and decesions without voices in my head.

Who am I as needing to think?

I'm in danger if I don't think.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe I will not be able to handle difficult situations if I do not think.

I cannot function if I do not think.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe I cannot function within the current system if I do not consantly carve out a path for myself as thinking.

I can't make decesions and navigate my world if I do not think.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe I cannot navigate my world and make decesions without thinking.

So, what I'm realizing is that like dreams or thoughts or reactions, or anything, I don't just stop them all at once, I take back little pieces for myself, bit by bit.

So, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to stop thinking all together because I blame thinking for not allowing me to see clearly.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blame thinking for imparing my ability to fludily and naturally navigate my life when I am the one who created my internal perceptions and behaviour as consceinceness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create such dangerous and unpredictable systems within myself that I feel I must think to balance them out, because if I don't think I just automatically play out the systems within me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to automatically play out systems within myself in interaction and behaviour automatically and without self honesty as a decesion for myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that it is ok to automatically act on the systems of interaction and behaviour I have learnt because I'm a good person who could do no wrong.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in the systems within myself without question because I believe it is justified because I believe I am good.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe I am good.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe whatever my agenda is within my behaviour and actions it is good, because I believe I'm good.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize believing I am good is an excuse to not question my decesions and actions.

I commit myself to stop, breathe, and direct myself within the best of my abilities, not based on ego and agenda, when and as I see myself automatically playing out systems of agenda as words, deeds, and behaviours.

And I commit myself to realize better ways of acting and behaving within my world as self honesty and self forgiveness.