Day 49- 'On Letting Go'

An album that I enjoy, 'On Letting Go'

I have seen myself perceiving thought, feelings, emotions, moments, and expressions being held within myself as though, this is what facing the mind is.

In this post, I will disagree.

The mind opening up as seeing things I never realized occurring within me is a repercussion of my investigations within Desteni, and my process of self forgiveness, but in this moment I cannot say that something someone said bothering me throughout my day as being anything other than me holding on to my mind's interpretation of certain events, and having nothing to do with what had really transpired, nor having to do with facing the mind.

Me writing self forgiveness is me facing the mind within self honesty, me facing things as facing them within my mind throughout the day is me facing them as ego.

Not to say I cannot take back certain things that bother me throughout my day, but that if not placed in front of me as self forgiveness, than the point will be faced again as my mind, as holding on, self forgiveness is about letting go.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold onto things within my day, as thinking about something repetitively, or as compulsively returning to a point in my mind.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that facing these points from within my mind, will lend me no real resolution, only a temporary fix.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to be done with facing a point within my life by trying to control it as holding onto it in my mind.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize, there is no point in holding onto things in my mind, as no venture is accomplished nothing is gained nothing is progressed.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to equate practical day-to-day application of the mind as problem solvoing, to the likes of dwelling on what someone said within an emotional reaction.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize myself as having a choice, as face this point in self forgiveness, or face it again in real time consequence playouts as to give me more of a perspective on the point as to be more competent in facing it next time around.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize no matter how much I hold onto a point in my mind throughout any moment or through my day will not suffice in giving myself an oppritunity to stand within my relationship to it.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold onto a point in my mind as bracing it, as trying to gain a hold over it, even though this technique yelds no results, as the point could come back stronger or weaker, but guaranteed one way or another, it will return unless faced for real.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to face points within myself as holding on instead of by letting go as self forgiveness.

I commit myself to when and as I see myself holding onto something as some point within myself, and realize there is no practical reason to think or expiernece this point, to stop, breathe, and realize no amount of energy application as the mind will yeld me any really comfort in regards to this point, and that if I really like, I could make a note of it for later for self forgiveness, but otherwise it is bunk to waste myself away on a temporary fix to a clearly systemic mental condition as the mind in it's current formation.

"But I need to think about this point, because it is important." It isn't,

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to excuse my obsession with obsessing the mind because it is an important point.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize, if it were so important, I'd make very specefic note of it, and make very sure that it were received in a way that it can be effectively processed for real as self forgiveness, and if it was just a thought "it is a nice day", than let go, because if it is a nice day, go enjoy it, and if not, OK, otherwise let go.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself as personality create many personalities defining me as though I should hold onto every expiernece which occur in my mind, even though in this moment, I can justify none of it.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exsist as the personality of not needing to justify my actions, as being able to act as greed, as I want to hold onto this thought/emotuon/picture in my head, because I just like too, and need no example as to why I might chose not to hold on, because i am the personality of needing no justification.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to relate my relationship to my mind to the real world, where for example in some places a man owns his wife, because the Bible said it was ok, as needing no real world justification, as the justification being of the mind itself, and within this point, I have a real world consequential outplay of why possession as the mind is a consequence without real world justification, as not considering all as equal, as per the real world example of possession of a wife, the wife is in no way considered equal, but subserveant.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be subserveant to my mind when I let my mind hold onto pretty pictures in my head or emotions or expressions, because I fear letting them go because I love them, yet have no real physical justification as for why this is acceptable nor understanding of why it is occurring.

Yes I have wonderful dreams, and daydreams, and snippets of a fantasy reality of spirituality and pictures in the head, 'wonderul', yet I have no physical justification for the allowance of this occurance, so consequence await, unless I take a stand here a stance on letting go.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold onto pictures in my head as king as possible because I love to dream, as to dream of nature, and planets, and stars, and the very depth of the dream world intrigues me, but I fear, because I know deep down, it will not stand, so I will not stand when the time comes.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear letting go of my possession to fantasy, even though I know I am a criminal stealing my life on earth to purchase fantasy pictures as a ticket 'out'.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that a moment of illusion as fantasy of any form is anything but an illusion, and that the ticket is for a very short ride, but the toll is far out weighing the value, as physically the ride of the wave of fantasy is completely not worth the ticket.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to buy tickets to the fantasy realm at the cost of my flesh and life, because the time is ticking, and my golden ticket is here, within self honesty, and self forgiveness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself as lazy, as choosing to pay the greatest cost, for the lamest ride, because I believe deep down, I will be rewarded with an endless ride of fantasy upon death.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize, I have no justification for this belief, and no reason to believe I have paid for any more than what I have received as a short moment outside of my reality, while in reality only wasting away.

I commit myself to stop, breathe, when and as I see myself holding onto snippest of fantasy, or irrelevant day dreaming, as I realize it will be OK, I already have the ticket to life, to give life for all, to forgive, and to realize the consequence and reward does not change upon death, because what is here remains, but what does not stand stable, does not survive death, so the fantasy is life on earth one and equal, but I have judged that dearly on my grave.

I commit myself to come to terms with how gravely I have judged my existsance as insufficient, so I might see and realize the crops such an idea bare!

Bare with me here Mr. Stone!

It will not be a pretty picture!

Good luck! :)

Blurb: within the commitment of seeing how I have judged pictures over life, I worry like tomorrow I am going to have a terrible expiernece of seeing how I'm wasting my life away willfully paying my body to my mind, yet, in the very moment if the commitment statement I could already see what is occurring within me, I do not have to wait for the Consequence's to arrive, they are already manifest, within me, and within my world, I could wait for something to come up, or I could write it out now because I realize it is within me, either way, just a decision of how I navigate myself to self discovery, as bringing about self forgiveness.